Birmingham, AL -- After a lengthy trial, Darwinists have lost their historic battle to introduce equal time for evolution in religious venues.
The Case
Charles "Chuck" Darwin V, a U.S. citizen who resides for most of the year in the Galapagos Islands, led an association of scientists adhering to the theory of his famous naturalist great-great-grandfather. The group brought a class action lawsuit against leaders of several Biblical literalist religious denominations on behalf of their former members.
The plaintiffs claimed that they were misled into believing a myth of "special creation" as part of a conspiracy to perpetuate their complete social, emotional, political, and financial loyalty to the leaders of their respective religions. They asked the Alabama court for an unusual form of injunctive relief whereby the theory and fact of biological evolution would be guaranteed balanced treatment, or equal time, with creation stories in all sermons and instruction.
The irony was not lost on anyone following the trial. Equal time and balanced treatment have become familiar as terms used by creationists. They are integral parts of strategies designed to introduce creation into public school biology classrooms alongside evolution, while still complying with constitutional barriers between church and state. These strategies have consistently failed.
It was no surprise, then, that the Darwinists lost. Judge Legatt based his decision on the fact that the court did not have jurisdiction to award the remedy requested. "Constitutional guarantees protect religions from defending their dogmas in courts of law. If legal reasoning was used to vet the substance of religious practice and training, no religion would survive."
Reaction
Relieved religious leaders applauded the decision. Pat Robertson, who appeared at the trial as a defendant and as an expert witness, said, "This case establishes, side-by-side with the separation of church and state, the principle of separation of fact and faith. God bless the learned Judge!"
A local Catholic priest referred to Pope John Paul II's statement on October 25, 1996, that new knowledge has confirmed Darwin's theory of evolution is "more than a hypothesis." "This is but one example demonstrating that, although science and religion are separate, they can be reconciled as long as God is recognized as controlling everything. The Church is capable of... evolving."
Richard Dawkins, one of the world's leading evolutionary biologists, replied, "I suppose it is gratifying to have the pope as an ally in the struggle against fundamentalist creationism. ... Even so, given a choice between honest-to-goodness fundamentalism on the one hand, and the obscurantist, disingenuous doublethink of the Roman Catholic Church on the other, I know which I prefer." He added, "The Alabama court is correct. Faith cannot survive reasoned inquiry."
Alabama Governor Fob James, who has proudly accepted being called a "God-fearing redneck" by his son, was confident. "I had no doubt which way the court would decide. No one tells me what I must learn, think, or know. Except my minister." He then began dancing like a monkey. It was not clear whether he was mocking evolution or was just very happy.
Darwin was satisfied, notwithstanding the legal defeat. "Remember, Clarence Darrow lost the Scopes trial, but history scored it a win for evolution. We've done for evolutionary biology what Bill Clinton unwittingly did for sex. We got kids to start asking questions about a subject their parents and teachers are too embarrassed to discuss with them. And kids are tenacious. They won't be satisfied with ignorance and myth."
Governor James' son retorted, "I is too!"
